What you say determines your destiny as much as what you think. Could the everyday words uttered around the office or shop be the biggest threat to long-term success? While the literal words one uses only constitute 7 percent of an entire message—the other 93 percent are comprised of 38 percent tonal inflection and 55 percent non-verbal communication—consider that a word is a thought revealed.
Positive thinking and positive speech are analogous to the chicken and egg argument. While positive thinking begets positive speech, positive speech inspires positive thinking. The two must be present simultaneously and be in harmony. When they exist together, productivity and results are not far behind—change your thinking, talk the positive talk, and set a shining example for your co-workers, clients and business associates, and be on your way to achieving your dreams.
In the beginning… Partner(s), employees and day-to-day business contacts have come to know you and expect you to act in a particular manner, for better or worse. Those “glass half-empty” kinds of people who bounce into the shop with a new perspective on the power of the spoken word should be careful not to cause chaos by springing “the new positive you” on others unexpectedly. Ease into any “for-the-better” transformation. Learning to use positive speech will take practice and patience. Society, in general—and television, in particular—has taught us otherwise. Fast-acting remedies and instantaneously improved results are not part of the plan this time. It takes discipline and diligence to rewrite and reprogram scripts we have taken decades to learn.
Perhaps the first step should be to assess how less-than-positive you really are. What are some of the things you find swimming in your head that are self-defeating? Ask a loved one—someone you trust to point out any negativity in a caring and constructive manner—to recount things you tend to say that could be reworded in a more positive way. Take a moment to write them all down, but don’t dwell on them. They serve only as benchmarks.
Now comes the tough part. Take each defeatist thought or phrase and give it a positive makeover. For example, instead of “what else can go wrong” think “I just learned something; I wonder what other challenge I can beat.”
Give me a “P” Dr. Frank Luntz, author of Words That Work and WIN-The Key Principles to Take Your Business from Ordinary to Extraordinary, has made a lifelong examination of how top performers win in all areas of human endeavor by utilizing superb communication skills. As an accomplished pollster and respected communication professional, Luntz has interviewed hundreds of notable business people, celebrities from the world of sport and admired politicians. From such interviews, he has gleaned The Nine P’s of Winning—what it takes to get to the top—and the inspirational, winning words that, when woven into our speech, exemplify each principle:
People-centeredness—more than just being a people person, this is about getting to know and value others on a deeper level. People-centered winners use phrases such as “I’m listening,” “I hear you,” “I get it” and “you decide.”
Paradigm breaking—instead of asking why, ask why not. Paradigm breaking winners use words like “you deserve/have the right to,” “imagine…” and “wow, that’s a breakthrough!”
Prioritize—take time management to a new level. It’s realizing that your first words are more important than your last. Prioritizing winners say, “if you remember only one thing,” “first things first” and “the bottom line is….”
Perfection—why great is not good enough. Winners who strive for perfection use words such as “no excuses,” “extraordinary/exceptional” and “hassle-free.”
Partnership—akin to chemistry, it’s ensuring there’s alignment between what is said and what is done. Winners who practice partnership use terms such as “we agree,” “measurable results” and “fully aligned.”
Passion—not just what people hear, but how they hear it. It’s like living your personal tagline. Passionate winners weave words like “celebrate,” “nothing is more important than…” and “let me fight for you.”
Persuasion—in the words of Benjamin Franklin: “Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” The language of persuasion includes words such as “insight,” “convenience” and “reliability.”
Persistence—Hall of Fame golfer Arnold Palmer once said “The most rewarding things you do in life are often the ones that look like they cannot be done.” It’s learning from failure and being willing to try again. Persistent winners are often heard saying “let’s get it done,” “let’s give this another try” and “relentless.”
Principled action—winning the right way. The language of demonstrated principles includes “say what you mean and mean what you say,” “the simple truth is…” and “uncompromising integrity.”
Perhaps, somewhere along your upbringing, a parent, teacher or boss advised you to think before you speak. Sage advice, wouldn’t you say? I believe if you take a moment to choose your words more carefully and/or adopt any number of Dr. Frank Luntz’s nine P’s, you can’t help but to raise the overall morale and productivity of your office. Good luck!
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